Concentrate on a memory, and you end up alone
by starfishgobo
Summary: This takes place after Bella gives birth in Breaking Dawn. During giving birth she died and Edward wasn't able to save her. This is Edward's grief and thoughts after that fateful day. Oneshot. warning- may make you cry so have tissues on stand by! sorry :


_**I cried all the way through writing this. Hope you like it…**_

**_Dido-Here with me...you should play this whilst you read it, it flows with the chapter._**

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Alone

_How could this happened?_He felt his fingers sink into the mud as he clenched his fist._ How could I…_A pang of echoed loved resonated through his chest._ How could I be so stupid?!_

The rain was hammering against his head, bouncing off the floor around him. He had lost all sense of reality; his body was numb, his heart colder than it had ever been. The sunrise that Bella had brought to his life had slunk back down behind the horizon, leaving him dead and alone in silence of eternal night.

He left the house and gone to the meadow as soon as Jasper had come home; he didn't want his brother to have to feel his pain. He could just about cope with it once, but to have it echoed back at through Jaspers thoughts filled him dread. Plus, he couldn't stand to be around love for that long. Carlisle had Esme to hold, Jasper had Alice to kiss, Emmet had Rosalie to talk too...and now Renesmee had Jake! It seemed like everyone in his life was shaking up, just to rub his face in it!

_NO! Don't think like that Edward! _Bella's pure voice filled his head so clearly that for one second it was as if she was there with him.

"Why not?" He whispered. He pictured her lying beside him, on her front, head turned towards him. Her small hand entwining her fingers through his.

_Because you're better than that_! Edward smirked and gave a sarcastic chuckle.

"I'm not without you…" He imagined her brow furrowing into the all too familiar look of concentration.

_**Memory**_

Edward was stood at the top of the isle. The faces of his family on his, their thoughts circling around the subject he held the closest to his heart. _Bella…_ The thought of her made him smile; soon she would be walking down the isle, towards him. She was his love; his soon-to-be wife.

Edward's stomach set alight with nerves and anticipation as the music swiftly flowed into her song. Bella slowly started down the stairs with Charlie. _How can someone so beautiful be mine? _

The look on Bella's face made him smile; the pucker in her brow told him that she was thinking deeply. The usual frustration of not knowing what she was thinking vanished as soon as she reached the bottom of the steps; Bella let out a rush of breath which she had been holding. Edward chuckled as he realised why she had been concentrating so much._ Those heels are high; a dangerous choice for Bella. They are very…I must thank Alice later._ Edward swallowed loud enough for Emmet to give him a mental nudge. _"Save it for later bro!"_

Edward caught her eye and the whole world vanished; it was just them. The closing gap in between them wasn't small enough. He yearned for her to be his arms, this beautiful angel. She drew up beside him. A wide smile was on her face; the cherry blush in her cheeks; her eyes sparkling with all her hidden secrets. Edward took her hand, smiled. He heard her heart rate rise.

_This is it; heaven__ on earth with my own little angel…_

_**End of Memory**_

A lump was in Edwards's throat making it hard for him to breath. The rain sliding down his cheeks acted like his tears that poured inside him internally.

"I can't do this…" he gasped in broken sobs. His imaginary Bella was fading away. Edward's hand shot out to try and hold her, to stop her from leaving.

"_You can do this…"_ She was gone; he was alone. Edward collapsed into the squelching mud again.

"Don't leave…" His left hand searching the area hopelessly around him, until it found his right hand, which he held comforting himself. He lay there into the early hours of the morning, sobbing and holding himself, whispering her name through every gasping breath.

"_Renesmee…" _Bella's voice whispered faintly in his head as the sun began to rise. Edward's breathing slowed. He gathered all of his broken self control and began to run back to the Cullen house; piecing the much worn, fragile jigsaw together just as he reached the front door. He paused, taking a shaky breath to prepare himself for the onslaught of the worried thoughts of his family…

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**_Now push that greyish button and tell what you think..._**


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